The question: “why do men cheat in their relationship?” Has become a cliché. Perhaps, the reason for the ‘clicheness’ is that women have come to embrace the myth that cheating is in the DNA of men.
So, today, I decided to rephrase the question by putting it this way: why does your man cheat on you?
I had to rephrase the question because I want your attention, not because I belong to the school of thought about how all men will always cheat.
I know that some men are faithful to their women but if your man is unfaithful, then, perhaps, in this article you will see the reasons why.
All men are wired differently, but they all have similar idiosyncrasies. The idiosyncrasy and psychology of a man defines who he is and what he is likely to need from his woman and like I said, these things are similar in all men, hence, the reason why Mr. A would cheat is similar to the reason why Mr. B would cheat on his woman.
Now let us look at some of those reasons:
Because of what the woman demand from her relationship:
It is a fact that the prize on an item either appreciates its value or depreciates it. This is also true with human beings. The prize you place on yourself determines your value and your value determines the level of respect you get from people. This law applies to any kind of relationship. The prize a woman places on herself determines how she gets treated by her man.
One of the things that devalue a woman is desperation. When a person is desperate, they make the crappiest deals.
The causes of desperation in women are age and poverty. Let us take a look at these factors one after the other:
- The age factor.
Some women above the age of thirty have that tendency to become obsessed with all-thing marriage that they usually forget who they are; they throw their morals and values to the curb and assume the persona that they think their assumed Mr. Right would appreciate.
- The poverty factor.
Poverty is another cause of desperation in women. Of course poverty can make us all do things we are uncomfortable with, but as long as those things are morally right then it’s all good. But if they are not, then it’s wrong.
They above stated reason are, though understandable, but they don’t inspire respect. And when your man does not respect you, he will cheat on you with reckless abandon.
Love and respect are similar but very different ingredients of a healthy relationship.
If you want your man to respect you, you need to inspire that respect in him. How? Your man will respect you when you present yourself as someone deserving of his respect.
My question is: What has desperation turned you into? Has it made you turn a blind eye to the wrong things your man does, like the “harmless” flirting with other women right in front of you?
What disservice are you doing to your relationship by not being there, because when you are not yourself with someone, then you are not with them at all?
Because of what you offer to your relationship:
The law of demand states that demand is directly proportional to supply. So before you demand a thing you should first of all ask yourself the question: are my offering same?
I would be doing you a disservice if I don’t tell you that regardless of what you demand, what you are going to get is what you offer.
You cannot demand respect when you don’t give it. I know that you probably don’t cheat, but how do you talk to him? One of the characteristics of a queen is a bridled tongue.
I know that the rave of the moment is feminism. But I am telling you that everything that the twenty-first century feminism entails is all a lie from God knows where. If you think you are equal to your man then you should ask yourself, who initiates every step of the relationship: from dating to marriage. You will agree with me that all those steps are initiated by the man, so what the heck?
It is true that some women are becoming more daring these days and taking the unusual steps in their relationship like proposing to the man and all that, but don’t we all– including the feminist–have a name we call such women? We call them desperate.
In other words, even the feminist believes that the onus to initiate the relationship and also steer it by taking it from the dating stage to the marriage stage is on the men.
Being a feminist might work for you if you are single and fiercely independent. But if you have got a man and you want him to treat you like the queen that you are, then you need to call feminism what it really is—a load of BS.
Again I ask,: what are you offering? Just your body?
Well, that’s OK. But I’d rather you offer that and also solid support.
The point in your relationship where you can prove to your man that he needs your support, expertise and intelligent input is the point where you stop demanding respect or equality because at that point, it will come to you naturally.
If you think that all that you need to keep your man enthralled by you is your curvaceous body or your ‘twerking’ skills, well, good luck with that.
However, I will have you know that men and human beings as a whole like variety. So the more you work so hard to give him the ‘good stuff’ –that has other versions scattered all over the place– and nothing else, the more he is going to want those other versions.
Bottom line: Contribute to your relationship something that cannot be easily replicated. That is how you keep your man interested in you and you alone for a very long time.
Because you seem not to have a life outside of the relationship:
The only person that should be allowed to occupy the center of your life is you, yourself and you, not anybody or anything else.
You see, the thing about human beings is that they have the propensity to mistake that kind of privilege for weakness.
I know that women are wired to love hard. But in the same vein we are blessed with such big hearts are we also blessed with immense intelligence. And the area of our live that we should apply that intelligence is in our love life.
But unfortunately, that is one asset that a lot of women leave behind when they go into a relationship; they love with just their heart, not with their mind. Because of that, they make the man the center of their life.
We women call it love and we are absolutely right. But most men call it weakness and, of course, they are absolutely right.
No matter how in love you are with someone, you should never love anyone more than you love yourself because when you give that kind of love, you are likely to expect or even demand same and that might be the beginning of your heartbreak.
A lot of men feel choked when a woman is doing too much.
Because he is actually tired of you:
As painful as that is, it is true. One of the most dreaded parts of a relationship is the breakup part. Because it can be nerve-wrecking to look someone you once loved in the face and tell them you want to breakup.
For us women, we devise a lot of means to go about it, like nagging the heck out of the man, dodging sex and generally being a total b**ch (excuse my choice of word here). And we can also come out with it and tell him that we want out.
Unfortunately though, most men are not that easy with words; they would rather try to communicate their feelings through action.
So when a man is tired and wants out, he resolves to cheat without remorse because he knows that that would be the easiest way to shove you out.
The issue of cheating in a relationship is as old as it is tired. But is it ending anytime soon? I don’t think so.
That is why I still maintain that relationship is for the emotionally mature; it is for those who have created a center for their life that is independent of the treatment from other people because no matter what, you can never be too sure of the loyalty of anybody. People change.
Let the source of your happiness come from within. By so doing, you are guarding you heart and making yourself invulnerable to the moods and feelings of your man.
image credit: uk.askmen.com