Growth: Oftentimes the question “who are you?” have been thrown at us. But due to the human wish for relevance, we have answered this question based on: our financial status, educational background, social circle and sometimes we have chosen to be passive—accept the definition that the world gave us. But I think that that is not an ideal approach towards self growth or self development.
Who you are spans way beyond what you do or what the world say about you. Who you are is a measure of how you do what you do. The knack of confusing who you are for what you do is understandable, because the human mind where the knowledge of one’s true personality comes from is fluid..
So to have a good understanding of one’s true personality Traits requires a lot of concentration. Personality analysis is a continuous process but not a lifelong process. Who we really are has to do more with what we do unconsciously than what we do consciously.
Everything we do in life is dependent on the state of our mind at the time of action. In other words, our actions are controlled by our mind. Hence, our mind is our personality.
Over the years, I have heard people say the words “anger issues” and because of the words “anger” and “issues”, I viewed anger from a wrong perspective. I had the opinion that anger is more like a disease and not an emotion that comes with a particular state of the mind.
Some people thrive under pressure, some with pain; some with anger and some thrive when excited.
Please, do not mistake anger here for violence, no, never. Violence, in itself, is a sign of weakness, helplessness; a sign that you are not in control of the situation.
One mistake that some of us make is not taking the time to analyze ourselves and try to find out what fuels us and that is partly because we don’t find it fanciful.
Every tool you need for self improvement in your life is all there on the inside of you. All you need do is dig deeper.
Anger, in this article, represents a ‘do or die’ approach to certain situations of life. It could also represent a personality trait and for every personality God created, there is a purpose.
Do you know that ‘angry people’ are achievers?
Some people achieve something only when they get really angry at their current state of little or no achievement. In other words, to some people, anger equals seriousness.
There are people who would rather look for a diversion like alcohol when in crisis or facing a challenge instead of allowing that anger or pain to fuel them to action.
There are some bad habits that have caused you a lot and it makes you so angry. But in order to feel good about yourself, you choose to ignore those habits or worse rationalize them by telling yourself that it is who you are.
The sad thing about that is that you can lie to everybody but not yourself. Deep down you know that that habit is not natural. Until you get really uncomfortable with those habits and seek a different path away from it, then it is not leaving you.
Some people believe the myth that the ability of a person to make wealth or to be poor is attached to one’s destiny. In other words, some people are born to be poor. I will never stop marveling at the level of absurdity in that.
I don’t think any God would want his worshipper to be poor. I know my God doesn’t want me to be poor. But one thing, however, any God will tell his worshiper is that for you to make wealth there are sacrifices you need to make; there is a paradigm shift—a different way of doing and seeing things–you need to make.
The two types of people in this world are:
- The reactive people.
- The proactive people.
The reactive people are the type of people who believe that the challenges that they face in their lives are somewhat supernatural and connected to destiny. Because of this weird perception, they do nothing but complain, cry and whimper.
Proactive people on the other hand don’t waste their time complaining, instead, they look for solutions. Their first reaction in the face of any challenge is to ask the question “what can be done?” because they know that no matter how dire the situation might be there is a solution. All they do is look closely.
I am not an atheist. I believe in God; I believe he exists and I believe that there is a thing as destiny. But on top of all that, I believe in me. I have a God-given ability to change situations.
So, I choose to not wallow in self pity in the face of challenges; I choose to be proactive.
Of course it would be a lot easier for me to just sit, complain and blame my woes on others. So my choosing to be proactive, instead, is not because I want to but because I have to.
If I choose to go out and drink myself to stupor, that would still be what it is—a diversion, not a solution. And when the dust settles, I would still see the challenge staring me right in the face.
At some point in your life, you will face a difficulty of some sort. It could be financial, bad habits.
But the questions are:
What are you doing about that financial crisis you are facing?
Are you just sitting in a corner wallowing is self pity?
Are you swearing to whoever that cares to listen about what you would have done or achieved if you were Bill Gates son or daughter?
Are you blaming your parents for not giving you a good start?
Are you cursing God for making your life the way it is?
Are you letting the pain and anger that that state of poverty has brought to you become your driving force and energize you to chase the bills with resilience against the road blocks that you WILL encounter. And then possess the gates of bills– money and wealth– instead of sitting somewhere wishing you were Bill Gates son or daughter?
Now, let’s talk about bad habits:
Some of those common habits include: porn addiction, drug addiction, unnecessary procrastination etc.
Some of the uncommon bad habit include: Inability to work with time and sense of entitlement.
There are some entrepreneurs who have made it a habit to start their day by 10: am in the morning just because they own the business. Check it and you will see that such businesses end even before it has a chance to start. And why wouldn’t it end when it is entrusted into the hands of people with different visions and drives?
Every serious employer should be the one overseeing the punctuality of threi employees. But how can an employer who is still in bed by 10: AM in the morning do that?
Any employer who has a habit of arriving at his or her workplace by 11: AM in the morning shouldn’t bet something he or she cannot forfeit that their employees arrive anytime earlier than 09:40.
And it just might make their head spin when you have discovered how many clients that might have come and left because their door sign said “closed”.
Your personal growth and development at work should be your top priority as an entrepreneur.
What about the entitled people?
These types of people think that it is their way or no other. But little do they know that with an attitude like that, they are writing their own failure epistle and signing it with a kiss.
The most worrisome display of lack of social intelligence is to act entitled. Because when you act entitled, you are implying that you don’t deserve more and you won’t get more, believe that.
Let’s talk about your body:
Do you have weight issues but won’t do anything about it because you choose to live with the theory that there will always be the fat among us or probably blaming God for putting too much Carbs into the world?
Are you going to take a look at your diet and eating habit?
Are you going to create an exercise routine and abide by the rules of the routine?
I am not going to talk about the drug addicts and porn addicts because that is a whole topic in itself. But if you are a drug or porn addict reading this, then my advice to you is to get REALLY ANGRY at that ugly habit because until you do, it is going nowhere.
Again my questions again are:
What are you doing about these habits? Do you think that these habits are inherited?
Are you hoping to be taken to the river and have these habits exorcised from you?
Are you allowing yourself to be driven to recovery by the pain from the misfortunes that have befallen you as a result of these bad habits?
The first step towards recovery from these bad habits is loath them with every fiber of your body. See them as what they are– enemies of your progress.
All the questions I asked in this article is to let you know that no matter the challenge life throws at you, you have options.
The point of this article is that it is a wake-up call; a call for you to get really uncomfortable with and angry at the things that are uncomfortable with your progress; the vices and habits that are obstructing your personal growth and development goals.
I don’t know them but you do. And if you can be honest with yourself then you will admit that those are your main self growth inhibitors. It is high time that you developed an inside-out perception about life and got rid of the outside-in mentality.
By that I mean it is high time you started looking for the causes—behavior, idiosyncrasies–of your woes inside of you and not on the outside–people and circumstances.
Because when you look outside of you for the cause of your problems, you are only magnifying your area of concern—people and situations you have no control over.
But when you look inwards for the cause of your woes, then you are magnifying your area of influence—the things you do have control over—your behavior and habits. And let’s face it; your behavior in the face of people and situations determines their effect on you.
No matter how you look at is, only you have the power to change you. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you have the power to change anybody else either.
My final question for you is:
If your personal growth and self development were a concrete object, would you be willing and ready to reach out, take and hold it tightly as though your life depend on it? Does it matter that much to you?