meet the parents

Meeting The Parents, Do’s And Dont’s.

It is no gainsay that the nervous part of every relationship is the part of meeting the parents. We all know that the parent’s blessings are very important in every relationship.

Prior to meeting your partner’s parents, you ask yourself some mind bugging questions like: will they like me? Will they think me good enough for their child? Etc.

It gets worse when there is a reason for your anxiety. Reasons like a disparity in religion and family background.

The truth is, every good parent wants the best for their child. So if you can blow them away—I mean that figuratively, especially on first meeting then trust me, they will be the ones pushing for you to be a part of their family.

How else can you achieve this than assuring them via actions that their child is in capable hands?

Below are not just ways by which you can get the stamp of approval on the relationship from the parent(s) but also their admiration.

Be Yourself Around Them Parents.

They want to get to know you—the real you.  So, you trying to be who you think they want you to be are not a good idea.

This part is not arguable because no matter how excited or even desperate you  are to start your own family, you should know that the family of your intended will definitely have a sort of influence on your to-be family: Physically, mentally, socially and spiritually.

Just as much as they want to know what their family—child, are getting into, you also want to know what you are getting into, right?. So, it wouldn’t hurt if you be the first to place the card of clarity on the table.

When you show them the real you, they will show you the real them. Be honest and ‘humbly’ proud about who you are and what you do.

Starting off with a lie is a mistake that will turn around to bite you in the behind in the long run.

Do not leave YOU on the terrace. Confidently go with YOU.

Do not show up with an expensive gift for the first vsisit

Of course you are rich, doing very good for yourself and you just want to show it off a little. Well, there is nothing wrong with that– work hard ball even harder, right? But you might want to keep all that on the down low when you meet the parents of your intended especially when you are visiting for the first time. I am not telling you to show to their door in some raggedy shoes or outfit, I am advising you to appear modest.

One weird thing about an expensive gift is that, sometimes, the only person who recognizes appreciates it as what it is—a kind gesture is the giver not the receiver.

Presenting an expensive gift to your parent(s) in-law(S) to be, on a first meeting, reeks of desperation. A bottle of wine on the dinner table, courtesy of you will suffice.

Be An Early Riser When Visiting The Parents for the first time.

When you are spending the night or a weekend at your in-laws to be for whatever reason at all, please be an early riser. The first thing you should strive to earn from your in-laws is their respect.  Being the only one in bed when everyone else is up and about is not going to earn you that.

Some parent in-laws, especially the mother, would give you the look—you know the look, and I wouldn’t blame her. Every parent wants the best for their child. A lazy person is a no…no.

Help around the house when visiting your partner’s parents.

Your in-laws to be are your new family to be. So when you go visiting, do not be the ‘model’ guest and just sit around and watch things being done. Instead, try to participate by offering to help.

There is a possibility that they would want to play the model host and politely decline your offer, still, just make the offer. They will appreciate that you did.

Learn to greet in their language( if it’s different from yours).

I don’t think that this needs much explaining. We all appreciate it when somebody makes an effort to be like us. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

I am sure that every parent would appreciate a daughter or son in-law to be who makes the effort to identify with their values, tradition and even language.

This is not to say that you must be overly enthusiastic about learning their language. Let your approach be subtle. That way it would appear genuine; then they will appreciate it more..

Do not have sex in the home of your to be parent in-laws to be.

It is true that in the world that we live in today, pre-marital sex have become almost a norm. But most parents don’t want to accept this fact.

A lot parents wants their child to remain that little innocent cutie that they gave birth to. Even the most liberal parent doesn’t want to imagine their child getting down and dirty right next door.

So, even if your relationship is sexually active, you might want to keep it in your drawls when you are a guest at your intended parents’ home.

There is no exaggeration to this. To avoid the temptation, sleep in different rooms. Keep your libido in check.

Do not be overly modest when you meet the parents the first time.

What is that name that some people usually call the kind people who come at them with so much civility and class? Well, in case you don’t know then know it that some people call them pretenders. Yep, you read right. Some very unsubtle people would go as far as telling you to your face to stop trying too hard.

Maybe you are naturally overly civil like that, but in that your show of over civility know it that the world we live in today have become so infiltrated with a lot of dirt that the overly civil like yourself are dubbed unreal.

Sometimes, over perfection can work against you by bringing you the exact opposite the intended result. And by result i mean disdain instead of love.

Laugh out loud occasionally. Let them know that you are real, human and having a great time.

There is something very attractive about a happy person. And happiness is very contagious.

 Final Thoughts:

Sometimes, meeting the parents can be nerve-wrecking but one way to overcome the nervousness is to realize that they are the people who loves and nurtured the person you fell in love with into who they are so all they need is a little reassurance that their child is in safe hands. I don’t think that it difficult to show them that as long as you are very sure of yourself and what you want.

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