The resolution that most people make after heartbreak is to never fall in love again. I know because I have lived it. But thank God that I snapped out of that self-imposed prison before it was too late. And you too can do the same if you are in that boat. How?
Unfortunately, this article is not about how to fall in love again but it is about why you should fall in love again. But if you read attentively, you will be able to figure out both.
So let’s dive right in:
Because somebody, somewhere, really don’t want you to.
The term ‘consensual breakup’ is an illusion that has been projected onto us by Hollywood. This is why you see Hollywood stars that are getting a divorce releasing a “joint” public statement to tell the world that the decision to separate was a mutual one. But I don’t think that that is really how it works in real life. The decision might be mutual but that does not mean that nobody is hurting.
When people breakup, there is usually a minute part of them that wants the other person not to move on to someone better. And sometimes, not to move on, at all and that part I am talking about, is the work of the trace of ego in every human being.
Some people might not—for the sake of sentimentality—endorse this opinion of mine but that does not make it any less real. This is a matter of the heart and when the heart is hurting even the sweetest person in the world could become so bitter.
Your EX could wish for you not to move on probably because they are still hurting or simply because they are trying to prove a point; the point being that you are unfit for love or a relationship.
Whatever their reason might be, I don’t think it is rational and only you can disappoint them. How? By going back out there and loving even harder. Show them that you are worth every bit of good loving.
Because your heartbreak might have been be your fault.
One thing that some of us are good at is playing the victim. But if we can take a moment, step outside ourselves and become the witness of our own actions, then we might just be able to see the real picture.
A mistake that some people make when they meet someone new is not take the time to analyze the personality of that person. They are usually in such a hurry to get the ball—relationship—rolling that they forget to do their homework. By homework I mean observe the idiosyncrasies of that person and then ask themselves such questions as: do I see myself in a relationship, three years from now, with a person with such sex, religious and work orientations?
Failure to perform some of these initial checks is not ideal because chances are that you two could wake up one morning to realize that you made a mistake. This realization could happen after you have made so many sacrifices for the relationship. Your heartbreak and bitterness stems from these unrewarded sacrifices and not really because of the person who left.
So you could save yourself a lot of heartbreak when you first of all try to find out if that person is even worth sacrificing even your time for. But when you don’t and things go bad, then all you have to do is learn from it and move on.
Because you will regret it on your deathbed if you didn’t.
It is a fact that the one picture that no one really cares to see on their deathbed is the picture of their mistakes. But unfortunately, that is the most glaring picture on ones deathbed.
In that moment, there are things you would wish you did differently, things you wish you never did at all and then things you wish you died doing or trying to do.
Depriving yourself of something as beautiful as love, no matter what your reason might be, could be your worst regret on your deathbed. But in that time, there won’t be much you can do about it.
Open your heart and let the light of love shine through now that you have the chance to do so.
Because you have the right to love and be loved.
Do you know that it is your right to love and be loved? So if you, for whatever reason decide not to exercise that right then it is your own loss not your EX’s.
Of course, a couple of heart breaks might make falling in love seem like a terrible mistake, but if you look around you, then you will see a lot of people thriving with that mistake, glowing because of that mistake and living incredibly happy lives because of that so-called mistake.
None of these people can tell you that there love life have been a cruise in a luxury yacht. There story is not too different from yours and they have had their fair share of heartbreaks. But instead of giving up, they choose to keep exercising their God-given right to love and be loved. And if you look closely, you will see that they are better people for it.
Because you would be depriving somebody of their true love.
Have you ever considered the fact that there is somebody specially made for you and that person is still out there searching for their true love?
So your decision to not fall in love again is not hurting just you but somebody else out there.
Because your heart is shot against love, even if the right person is in front of you, you probably will not see them.
Bitterness has a way of rubbing us off of the best things life has to offer if we let it.
You should fall in love again because you are brave.
They might call it foolishness that you are getting back out there after all the heartbreaks and disappointment, but what do you call it? As for me, I call it strength, courage.
Only the strong and courageous go for what they want even when they know that it is likely to cause them pain.
No doubt, putting your heart back out there after it has been shattered a couple of times is a risk, but that is why you should do it—to prove that you are one hell of a strong person. Don’t let them win by staying single and sulking.
To demonstrate what true love is or should be.
It is much easier to do right when you already know what wrong is or how it feels. The lesson we should learn from being hurt is the lesson of how to do right. So when your relationship ends the lesson you should take from it with you is not how to be bitter but how to love unconditionally and selflessly.
Let your sad experience become your guide towards loving right and showing others how to do right by the people they love.
See: one of the myths about love is that it is a feeling or a function of our feelings. But it really is not. I would like to think that love is not that complicated. The complicated idea we have about love is what the movies we see have projected on to us.
Love is just all about doing right by people; treating people how we would like them to treat us. So tell me, how hard is that? It is quite simple.
Heartbreak is nasty. But devastation will be when you are fifty, alone and wishing you had done things differently.
So now is a good time to change that fate. The decision lies with you.
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