Parenting is a job. When it comes to any job,there are rules, both stated and unstated that one must adhere to in order to be effective, if not efficient.
In my opinion, I don’t think that any parent is bad. I believe that every parent wants the best for their child.
The difference between two parents is just their parenting tactics and according to the law of Sir Isaac Newton: “for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction”. This reaction could yield either a good or a bad result.
Below are some good parenting tips that a parent should consider practicing.
Be your child’s No 1 Fan.
A lot of teenagers are on the road to self discovery. As a result they find themselves needing the validation of other people. Sadly, some of these teenagers don’t get this form the right people—their parents. And because they really need this validation, they tend to get it by any means both necessary and unnecessary.
Some of the means include:
- Doing drugs.
- Prostituting to get money
However, some teenagers are quite grounded; hence, they can hardly resort to any of those vices. But that does not mean that they don’t need a little oomph.
The kid whose parents are too busy to notice and commend the greatness in them are the ones you see eating alone at the extreme end of the school cafeteria. They are usually sad, sulky and very prone to certain secret addictions like pornography and masturbation.
As a parent, you need to step in the gap and become your child’s biggest fan and cheer leader more than anybody else.
Being your child’s biggest fan gives them a sense of belonging and oomph’s up their confidence in more ways than one.
Let your child know that you got their back no matter what and that you are rooting for them. Every human being young and old, needs a ride or die in their corner, become that for your child.
Be the boss, set the rules.
Kids and teenagers do not like to be ‘bossed’ around, when they are living under the parents’ roof, eating their food and having their bills paid, but, does it really work like that? As long as you are the provider, you deserve the right to set the rules.
One of the worst things that can happen to a person is to not have anybody they can listen to.
Of course the kids are not going to consider you ‘the cool parent’ but you need to let them know that life in itself is a journey, anybody navigating it need a compass.
Be the first compass your child needs in this world. You can become your child’s compass when you understand that you are not your child’s ‘friend’, you are the leader and actually start acting like it by stating the rules and seeing that your child abides by them.
Be a good provider, as a good parent.
By be a good provider, I am not only talking about money only but I also mean be a provider of encouragement, love, support and most importantly, peace.
The importance of a peaceful home to the mental and social well-being of a child cannot be over emphasized. Any child from a chaotic home grows up to become either violent or timid.
You know these types of kids by their anti-social behavior.
Be good Listener.
Impeccable communication skills is paramount in every relation. For more on how to be a good communicator.
Teach your child the value of money.
The first lesson every good parent should teach their child is the value of money. No matter how rich you are as a parent, giving your child access to money anytime they ask for it is a bad parenting tactics. Not only will it make the child to disregard the potency of money but it will also make that child think every theory that says “work hard to make money” is laughable.
It is no gainsay that the next most valuable thing after life is money. So how come some people are prudent with everything but money even when they are broke? It is my guess that this flaw in parenting is as a result of the parent trying to please the child when it should be the other way around.
Continuing to pay for your child’s tuition after first degree is not a good idea. I think that a parents business with their child’s education—monetarily—should end after first college degree. If your child wishes to go further for Masters or Doctorate degrees, then, let him or her pay for it by working and schooling at the same time.
Let your child pay part of his or her tuition no matter how rich you are. This may seem a little unorthodox to some parents but the thing is, handing people big things on a platter makes them value it less.
Teach your child to be responsible with money at a young age.
Rebuke your child when they err is good parenting.
The reason a lot of parents doesn’t rebuke their children when they err is because they treat their child as their friend.
Dear parent, you are not your child’s friend.
When you bring a child into this world your responsibility is to guide that child. It is true that as the year rolls by your style of guidance changes.
But that does not mean that you will stop being a parent and take up the role of a friend. Your child will have to go outside to make friend. It changes in the sense that as your child gets older, you loosen the reins, allow them the opportunity o experience life—make mistakes—but always reminding them that you are always there for them when they need you.
Remember, it is your responsibility to see that your child surrounds him or her with the right people because the wrong company destroys a good destiny.
Starting early enough to practice the act of rebuking your child when they err will not only save them from themselves but also you.
Resist the temptation to be the “cool parent” because it is a costly mistake with a dire consequence.
This is a good parenting tactics that no parent should ignore no matter what.
Respect your child’s privacy
What is good for the goose is good for the gander. As you need your privacy because you are an adult, so does your child need their privacy and, yes because he or she is a child.
Do you knock before you enter their room or do you just berg in because you own the house?
Do you ask them before taking their things or do you just take them because you probably bought those things?
As a parent, you might not agree with this but your child’s things are not yours even if you bought them.
It is true that you should keep an eye on your child, but still give them their space.
Dictatorship is different from leadership. Being dictatorial with your child is only going to make them “fear” you but not respect you. And, of course, there is a difference.
Be your child’s alarm clock is good parenting practice.
Every teenager faces the challenge of losing their focus every now and then. There is so much around for their young minds to absorb and retain.
Their energy is so much that they feel they can do it all at once so they get involved with many activities and the worst part about it is that some of these activities are not in line with their dreams and aspirations.
With so much to ogle at, they tend to forget and sometimes ignore the consequential.
Some of the things that kids and teenagers forget are:
- The family values.
- Their purpose.
- Who they are.
- Where they come from.
It is therefore imperative that every parent should watch closely to see when their child’s attention is distracted from their purpose or when their child is ignoring the things that should matter most to them and making the inconsequential a priority, and then call their child’s attention to the consequences of such behavior.
Be your child’s role model your.
I don’t know about you but I always feel good when I hear a kid say such things as “my mom/dad is my role model” because that is how it should be.
Practice what you preach. You cannot tell your child not to smoke or drink alcohol but every day you come home reeking of alcohol and cigarette.
With some kinds of children your word will become commonplace when you don’t practice what you preach because children are very practical people.
Very few legacies live on after we are gone and one of those legacies is our children. This is why one of the worst failures in life is failure as a parent.
Now that you have the opportunity, I advise that you invest in your child/children—invest your money, your time and most importantly, your prayers. That would be your greatest and lasting investment.