teenager

8 Funny Birthday Wishes Teenagers Make.

One day that every teenager looks forward to after Christmas is their birthday… or should I say before Christmas? I am not sure which day is more important to a teenager.

The perks that come with birthdays are huge: the cheerful faces gracing the occasion, the beautifully made cake, the presents, the happy birthday chants etc. but I think that the best part about a birthday is the part where we make a silent wish.

We have made different wishes on different birthdays in our lives.

As adults, the birthday wish we make are mostly centered on prosperity, success, growth etc. but these are quite different from the birthday wishes most teenagers make.

Some of the weird wishes some teenagers make on their birthday are listed below.

To have a good-looking boy/girl friend

Do you know that teenagers think about sex more than adults?  Kids and teenagers are the most curios people on earth and one thing they are curious about is sex. There are a lot of blanks on their minds. The want to fill up those blanks as quickly as possible. This is why kids ask the ‘darndiest’ questions like: “Mummy, where do babies come from?” “Mummy, what do you use a tampon for?”

One day, I walked into my 3+ year old niece, lifting up her skirt to show our 4 year old neighbor her ‘parts’. When I saw them, I was like ‘what the hell?’ Of course I didn’t get so mad because they weren’t even hiding. So apparently, they didn’t think it was wrong to show each other their parts…. Kids!

Teenagers are not so far from kids mentally. The difference between a kid and a teenager is that teenagers don’t ask some of the questions that kids ask, because they already know the answers. Instead, they want to explore, most especially sex. This is the reason most teenagers wish for nothing on the birthday but to have a good-looking boy/girl friend.

For their crush to notice them

Teenagers crush a lot. The funny part of it all is that they usually don’t crush on the people they have a chance with, like their peers. Instead, they crush on adults, celebrities… people who don’t even know they exist, Lol.

It is so frustrating to crush so hard on someone who doesn’t even know you. So, if there is a possibility for you to get the attention of your crush; you would do anything to have it. Hence, on top of the birthday wish of most teenagers is for their crush to look their way. Weird, isn’t?

To be the most popular at school

Popularity is important to a lot of teenager, they would give their right arm for it—I mean that figuratively. Popularity among friends and schoolmates is like a badge of honor to most teenagers. In quest for this, they dress provocatively; wear makeup, make ‘chicky’ hairstyle, pull down their trousers below the hip—the guys, get crazy haircuts etc.

Because every teenager is still on the road to self discovery, they feel an almost insatiable need to connect with people and even more people! They have so much energy, like the whole world is calling out to them and they want to answer all that call at the same time. This is the reason to be popular is on the birthday wish list of most teenagers.

To lose their virginity to their sweetheart before their next birthday

As funny as it may sound, a lot of teenagers can’t wait have their hymen broken, like ASAP. The reason for this is quite simple; they want to feel grown up. They want to be able to say grown-up things like ‘that’s my man’ like their aunties and mummies do. But what they don’t understand is that having a man at their age is a job, not a privilege.

Worse still, they don’t think it is possible that they could wake up one morning and discover that they have missed their period and when that happens, it will mean another job ‘hatching’ in the oven. Sometimes I wish that some of these teenagers could take a minute off the fast lane and actually think.

They wish to drive to school in the coolest ride.

It is crazy how some teenagers wish to hit the in the coolest rides ever. They can’t wait to hit the eighteen year old threshold to get a driving license. Stepping out of a Porsche and looking Porsche in the full glare of friends and schoolmates in the parking lot is a dream come true for every teenager.

Some teenagers would dare their parents and drive their Porsche to school while others could only wish to be allowed to do so.

For their school and internet bullies to e hit by a truck

Ouch! That sting, I know.

We all want to be strong enough to protect ourselves against dangers of any kind. But unfortunately, some teenagers are faced with bullies they are not able to stand up against. These bullies are found in school and on the internet.

Teenagers dread telling their parents about these bullies because they are ashamed to admit that they can’t defend themselves. Hence, they suffer in silence and secretly wish death upon the bullies.

If you are a teenager reading this and you have these bullies harassing you, I have some not-so-good news for you and the news is that, wishing death upon someone is not a guarantee that that person is going to die any time soon. So I suggest you talk to your parents or a higher authority about what you are going through. This is one good way to scare the bullies away.

Teenagers wish for their parents to quit spying on them on social media.

Social media is one place teenagers go to do all sorts of things, mostly bad things like: share raunchy photos, engage in sex chats with strangers, follow celebrities who throw caution to the wind and show off their tits…. They just wild out. They wilder they get on social media, they wilder they want to get because it is just so convenient.

So tell me, which teenager would be thrilled to have their parent(s) lurking around on social media considering all the shenanigans that go down? I don’t think there is any! Most teenagers want their social media activities to remain a top secret to their parents. So need I say that some teenagers would take the bull by the horn and make it a birthday wish for their parents to steer clear off their social activities?

To come out top of the class

Of course this is not a weird wish, it is a great one.

I know that this article is about some of the birthday wishes teenagers make, but I think it would be inappropriate to assume that all teenagers are weird.

There are some great and ambitious teenagers out there whose only wish is to always come out top of the class. Their ambition won’t let them make it a priority to be in an amorous relationship with the opposite sex. They would rather channel all that energy into their studies. This type of teenager doesn’t cry due to heartbreak from a broken relationship with the opposite sex. Instead, they cry due to a low grade at school.

They have a lot of respect for authority; hence they don’t sneak out of the house to see their boy/girl friend because their parents told them not to.

Just like every other teenager, they strive for popularity but only among nerds such as them, not with ‘slayers’. They only recognition they care about are that which would come either from the school authority or the Government, recognizing them for their uncommon intelligence.

This group of teenagers is usually introverts; hence they prefer hiding to showing off. But no matter how hard they tried to hide, their impeccable personality shines through. Because they have invested a lot in themselves and impacted positively on others, it is almost impossible for them to hide. The only thing they consider an obscenity and wish to hide from their parents is a low grade at school, not their social media activities.

Teenage age! What a time of our life that is. It is the freest-spirited stage of one’s life. All that we tend to care about at that age are the razzmatazz in front of us.

I am not saying that teenagers have no aspiration, they do. But if not properly guided, they tend to have a stronger inclination toward the glitz and glam that surround rather than their goals and aspirations.

Teenagers listen up; this is your morning while your old age is your night. What so ever you fail to do this morning, you will still do in your night and trust me, the hardship you will face now while at it, will be nothing compared to the one you will face if you choose to do what should have been done now— morning, in the night. It is up to you to decide to make hay while the sun shines.  So that you could use your night for what it is meant for—sleeping and resting.

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