First love, oh boy! What could I say about it that you have not heard before? I doubt that there is any. But are they all truth, just another myth or, perhaps, another fat lie, lol.
A lot of theories and myths have trailed the first love thingy and, somehow, we believe them because we are sort of wishing that the myths would become our personal love story. The first love myths are so romanticized especially in the Novels and movies that even though there is a voice of reasoning in our realistic minds telling us that this fantasy could only live in our head but never in the real world.
I am in my twenties, but when I was a teen, my response to that voice would probably be “God forbid” and it is my guess that same would be the response of every first time lover as well, especially teenagers.
Well, if it is coming from a place of faith, then I am here for it. After all, the Bible defines faith as “the substance of things hoped for and evidence of things not seen”
However, if it is coming from the scenes of a Hollywood movie or from the pages of a romance novel, then this article is for you because it will shine the light on all them first love myths, and hopefully wake you the heck up.
First love is true love.
Ok, first of all, nobody becomes a pro their first time at anything and only a pro has the ability to tell the real from the fake. First time falling in love, your ‘head’ is never really there, just your heart is. So tell me, what good judgment can you possibly make without your head or mind?
It is the sweetest kind of love.
Nah, I don’t think so, lol. First love stresses the heck out of you; it stresses you emotionally and psychologically.
When they are your first, you think about them all the time. You literally become emotionally vulnerable and dependent to and on them. This emotional dependency could mess with your mind, so bad, causing you to make some really weird decisions as regards your life; it could distract you from your purpose in life and consequently, turn you into someone you don’t recognize.
Because you have become so attached to them, when it ends—and yes it usually does; Only a minute 10% of first love relationships end in happily ever after—you feel as though your whole life is over; everything including life loses its taste and value. In some cases depression sets, so how sweet is that?
First love is unconditional.
Behind every human activity are rules and motives. There is always a ‘because’ behind every action including the actions of love. We all have a reason for loving someone and sometimes even a motive.
Everything that occurs in the world—no matter how spontaneous– is with a condition, some stated some unstated. You just have to look closely at people who are in love and you will see the reason why. The other half of the sentence “I love her/him…” is usually the condition part.
The lie that first love is unconditional is made to manipulate and prey on the naive.
A lot of teenagers are struggling with drug addiction and unwanted pregnancy because somebody they fell in love with told them that there is no real relationship without sex or that when two people are “in love”, they do things in common no matter how risky, nasty and morally wrong it might be. So they succumb to the pressure to have premarital sex or do drugs because they failed to set the conditions that will govern their life.
Dear teenager, you should set the rules and conditions for your life, because if you don’t, someone else will do it for you.
You will always be in love with your first love.
I don’t know where this lie is from. But for the hotness of it, I can almost assure you that it is from somewhere not far from hell.
The thing about first times is that we usually don’t get it right at first. A first time at anything is what I call “the apprentice stage” ; the stage where you learn the stated and the unstated rules.
A time of learning is the time for mistakes .sometimes, if you are lucky, you make mistakes that are understandable and hence forgivable. But if you are not, you make a mistake that makes you cringe, loath yourself and any other person connected to it.
If the things you did because of your first are not so bad, then you might at least like them in the future. But if they make you sad and cringe every time you remember them, then what you will feel for your first love will be everything but love.
A lot of people have gone from asking “how do I live without him/her” –when the going was good –to asking “what did I see in him/her” when it is all over.
Your first will always love you.
People change for the better or for the worse. So don’t let anybody play on your naivety and tell you otherwise.
The change could happen both ways; the two of you could one day realize that you are not made for each other. Or it could be one sided. Either way, it is possible that one or both parties could wake up one day and decides that what used to feel so good is not so good anymore.
So before you make that huge step or sacrifice because you think that your first love will always be the sweet and amazing person that they are, you should remember that change is the only inevitable thing in life.
This article is not designed to scare you away from love or giving it your best. But to remind you that, as a teenager, the only relationship that you have that are guaranteed to last forever is your relationship with yourself, hence, the person you should be scared of losing is you, nobody else.
PS: I think I should call this a letter to my teenage self.